This was loosely based on a true story, except I was trying to get Siri to put my phone in a “do not disturb” mode. (That was before Apple had ever added such a feature. I think I’m the sole cause they did.) I had worked all day, all night, and all day, and had only a few minutes to grab a quick nap before having to get up again. I tried every way I could get to Siri to stop my phone from ringing for 40 minutes and then have her switch my phone back to normal. (I was concerned that putting my phone in silent mode would hinder its regular alarm feature. I’m still not solid on that.) After many attempts and many ever weirder replies from Siri, I exhaled with a “Pffhh” of frustration. Siri replied, and I quote, “There’s no need to curse.” At that point I remembered I was arguing with a computer program, set the regular alarm, and went to sleep. True story.

PS: The Siri quote, “I’d rather you didn’t,” is also based on a true story. One day she got things so turned around she actually said that to me. I cannot now remember the exact weirdness, but it was up there with the weirdness of “There’s no need to curse.”