Ministry, Theology

The King Who Sees (a reminder from the altar)

There is something so powerful about the way God’s presence puts everything in proper perspective when we approach Him openly and honestly. Bowed before His glory, no petty rationalization, biased justification, defensive argument, or attempted distraction can be offered. What’s the use of such antics when one is beholden to the King Who Sees your heart’s deepest crevices?

“Have no confidence in the flesh” (Philippians 3:3b).

The way up is down. The death of the carnal is the end of the curse. When we lay our carnality on the altar, He helps us to mortify the sinful nature’s deeds (Romans 8:13).

Don’t try to hide that which cannot be hidden from Him. Don’t waste life’s days refusing to acknowledge or confront the innermost defects and problems resulting from unwise choices. We are all casualties of the curse. Yet when, through humble repentance before Him, we divest ourselves of carnal aspects that harbor the curse, we see Him work a change that overpowers the curse and delivers us from “the body of this death.”

If you have not offered yourself before Him in this way—or perhaps you have, yet not for a while—then don’t delay. Mere moments of true openness before Him does more than could ever be accomplished by going through “religious” motions. The stench of flesh is not that which ascends while the carnal nature is burning on the altar. A thousand times no. The true stench of flesh is that odor of sin, pride, and self-will, that foulness that oozes from our pores as we attempt life on our own, without trusting Him by building an altar and laying ourselves upon it. Cry out with Paul, “That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death” (Philippians 3:10).

“For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live” (Romans 8:13).

Technology

iPhone 4s is very cool, but…

My rant earlier today about the so-called reputable sources being not so reputable, is now vindicated. Apple finally announced, not the iPhone 5, but just the iPhone 4s. Speaking of which, the iPhone 4s is very cool, but it’s not what the iPhone 5 has been touted to become. We still need a changeable battery and the freedom to insert our own (affordable) storage medium, like a micro SD, for example. Can you say, “Milk it for all it’s worth?” Oh well. It is what it is. Now off the store to go buy one. 🙂

Technology

iPhone 5 Release!

We have it from reputable sources that…

All the other reputable sources are disreputable. The “company” (aka Apple, Inc.) are masters of buzz, and part of their wizardry is in getting all these people/sites/news outlets to quoting “sources” that don’t know what they’re talking about, most times without even using quotes, sometimes without using names (or, when they do, not names that have “Apple, Inc.” in them or even remotely connected to them), and without using any concrete details. Anyhoo,

We have it from reputable sources that…

Today, October 4, 2011, Apple may or may not unveil the iPhone 5, and it may or may not have a tear-drop form factor, and it may or may not be available within two to three weeks after the maybe/maybe not unveiling today.

Sorry for the rant. Went online to see if today’s Apple event had already taken place, and if so, what the report was. I found nothing but wild speculation. I finally thought, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.” Well, actually I thought, “I am about as qualified to speculate as any of these so-called sources,” and I decided to post a rant. I feel better. Thank you for reading. Click comment to vent your own rant. Or just to make me feel better. Or just because you can.

We “less-than-three” you Tim/Tom Cook! Or whatever your name is. <3

Technology

I’ve seen the Mac’s future

OS X Snow Leopard was all the rage until Apple released OS X Lion a few days ago. Ever wonder what Apple will use for code names for its new OS X releases once all the big cat names are used up? I’ve seen the future, and it isn’t pretty. On the bright side, the company’s brag lines for the release will tout that holographic interface elements [will] allow you to tap, swipe, and scroll your way through your apps using fluid Mid-Air gestures that make everything you do feel more natural and direct. Also, full-room apps [will] allow you to compute no matter where you are enjoying your Mac. I could tell you more, but then I’d have to go forward in time and stay there, so I would not be killed in this present timeline. 🙂 I’m already in danger. The meerkats are coming for me.

General

McD’s Bad Drive-Through Experience

Me: I would like a #6 meal.

McD: [murmuring, nearly silent]
McD: …

Me: I can barely hear you.

McD: [Speaking up, more volume]
McD: What kind of kids meal would you like?

Me: No, you misheard me. I would like a Number, Six, Meal, and I do want the Swiss cheese.

McD: [Rings me up a #6, hold everything except the cheese.]
McD: [Rings me up a sweet tea, which I did not order.]

Me: No, I did not tell you to take everything off the sandwich. I said I like the Swiss cheese.

McD: [Clears the screen]
McD: [Rings me up a #6, hold the cheese.]
McD: [Rings me up a sweet tea, which, again, I did not order.]

Me: No, I did not tell you to hold the cheese. I said I want the cheese. I like Swiss cheese. We’re having some trouble communicating. Can you understand me?

McD: [Getting snippy. Replies with a bad attitude.]
McD: Yes…. Sir.

McD: [Clears the screen]
McD: [Rings me up a #6.]
McD: [Rings me up a sweet tea, which, again, I did not order.]

Me: You have rung up a sweet tea that I did not order.

McD: [Clears the screen]
McD: [Rings me up a #6, special note on the cheese.]
McD: [Long pause….]

Me: Let me know when you’re ready.

McD: [Asks the following question begrudgingly, as though too lazy to ask, and frustrated to have to ask…]
McD: What would you like to drink?

Me: Mr. Pibb or Dr. Pepper. 

McD: [Rings me up the correct drink.]
McD: [Asks the following question with a smarmy tone]
McD: Is the screen correct?

Me: Yes. Thank you.

…So then I drive up, pay, move up, get the food, and check the bag. Looks OK. I drive away. Then I open the package to eat, and there is no cheese on my sandwich.

I turn around and drive back. I park and walk in. Stepping up to an abandoned service counter, I call to the nearest employees standing on the far side of the restaurant, “Excuse me.”

No luck.

“Excuse me.”

No reply.

“Excuse me!”

Finally, a drive-through delivery girl starts saying, “Oh, he wants to talk to someone!” while another asks me if there is a problem.

I reply that I had asked three times for Swiss cheese, and I have a sandwich outside with no cheese on it. “Can someone get me some Swiss cheese, please?”

Employees start scurrying away, while the drive-through delivery girl seemingly decides it’s not her problem.

I thought one of them might have gone to get me some Swiss cheese. No dice.

Apparently none of the employees wanted to talk to me or help me, so someone among them had gone to fetch the manager.

Out comes the manager, with an employee in tow. I asked the employee behind her, “Is no one helping me yet?”

No answer from the employee.

“What seems to be the problem?” asks the manager.

I was explaining, when she stopped me to ask what kind of sandwich.

I thought, “What does it matter? I just want a slice of Swiss cheese that I paid for!” However, I told her it was a club.

Then she wanted to know whether it was crispy or grilled.

Sigh. “Crispy.”

She walked away. I thought, “Well, maybe I will get a slice of Swiss cheese.”

I waited.

Finally, she came back with a whole sandwich, saying this one has cheese.

At that point, I just kind of gave up, said, “Thank you,” and took the sandwich.

It did have Swiss cheese on it.

This was perhaps the most annoying drive-through experience I’ve ever had. Some may say it’s not worth the trouble. I am tempted to agree, but, “Oh, the power of cheese!” Did I mention that I like the Swiss cheese?

Church

Press release (5/3/2011) — For immediate release:

Press release (5/3/2011) — For immediate release:

Pastor Doug Joseph and the saints of Christian Apostolic Church, in Clarksburg, WV cordially invite you to a special celebration commemorating the assembly’s 40th anniversary. On May 20, 21, & 22, 2011, specials services will be held Friday at 7:30pm, Saturday at 6:00pm, and Sunday at 10:00am and 6:00pm. Special guests will include the Honorable Margaret Bailey, Mayor of Clarksburg; the Honorable Jim Hunt and the Honorable Patsy Trecost, members of the Clarksburg City Council; Rev. Terry Null, former Pastor of CAC, and Rev. Jerry *Samouce of Clayton, NC, will bring your Bible to life by demonstrating biblical artifact restoration & reconstruction techniques before your eyes, complete with a live bronze-pouring demonstration. These 3,000 year old artifacts of biblical archeology will be displayed and explained with profound lessons that apply directly to every Christian’s life. Come see, hear about, and touch your biblical heritage. A map and driving directions to the church are available on the church’s website, at www.cac.us.com — or contact the church by email, info@cac.us.com — or by phone, at 304-624-4459.

For radio announcements: *Samouce is pronounced “suh-moose”

Questions?
Pastor Doug Joseph
pastor@cac.us.com
Cell: 304-629-1196

Books, Fiction, Reviews

ForeWord Reviews: ‘Tesseract’ Novel by WV UPCI Pastor

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Tesseract by Doug Joseph was recently reviewed by ForeWord Reviews, a service trusted by librarians and booksellers. Their positive review follows:

FICTION/CHRISTIAN

Tesseract: Book Two of the Millennial Teleport Trilogy
Doug Joseph
AuthorStock
Softcover $15.95 (175pp)
9781456437442

Doug Joseph’s sequel to New Immortal is an inventive representation of Pentecostal theology that will delight young adult readers. Combining other-worldly time travel with divine revelation, Tesseract shows that great rewards await those who serve God. This book caters to both faith and the imagination, taking salvation into the future and into the stars.

Author Doug Joseph believes that “pride can use intelligence as a ploy,” luring the gifted to sin. When Tess, who begins college at fourteen, loses her parents in a car accident, her beloved childhood friend, Daniel, guides her to faith. Rightly recognizing “her fallen nature” and “the sin curse within her,” she makes the “right choice” to serve God. After marrying Daniel, she earns her Masters of Science degree, but leaves school upon realizing that “neo-darwinism” is “a godless theory of abiogenesis” that undermines the doctrine of Intelligent Design.

The Corlan, who live on a planet called Sset, are a race rewarded with immortality for never committing original sin. Parents pass genetically encoded memories to their newborns through touch. Straf, the smartest Corlan of all time, succumbs to willful pride and is driven mad by his arrogance. Unlike Tess, who uses her gifts to serve God, Straf rejects God’s will and becomes the Ettosedondi of ancient prophecy who is fated to introduce sin and death on Sset.

When Straf’s son is born, he decides to withhold the memories from his newborn child and abducts him. Deprived of both his mother’s milk and the parental touch he needs to gain his memories, the child becomes the first Corlan ever to die. His father, horrified at what he has done, compounds his sin by committing suicide.

Meanwhile, Daniel and Tess struggle to solve the mystery of sin within their religious community, as God “sifts” the congregation to retain only the truly faithful. When the New Millennium arrives, Daniel and Tess become immortal. Near the end of the Millennial Kingdom Age, God reveals to Tess that she and Daniel will take part in saving the Corlan species from extinction during their downward spiral into depravity and cannibalism.

This novel integrates prophecy, miracles, and “meaningful coincidences” to demonstrate God’s enduring presence in the hearts of the faithful. Tess and Straf represent two routes that are available to all conscious beings: to use their abilities to serve God or to deny Him.

Doug Joseph has also written The Life and Ministry of Billy and Shirley Cole and The Book of Salvation.

Elizabeth Breau

ForeWord Reviews
http://www.forewordreviews.com/reviews/tesseract/

Poetry, Technology

Mt. Technology

Back then, technology was a mountain,
     and the young boy thought he could climb it.
And he wanted to.

Back then, his brain was sharp,
     and his brainstorms awesome.
And he had ideas.

Back then, the Internet was unheard of,
     and games beckoned to be created.
And longing peaked.

Then forces beyond his control arose
     and turned his brave new world upside down.
And still he tried.

Then the “how” kept changing, and growing ever harder,
     and his ideas were not enough.
And still he tried.

So now, his brain is dull,
     and his brainstorms are played out.
And he’s out of steam.

So now, his ideas are gone,
     and his hopes are faded and dark.
And he’s giving up.

So now, technology is a mountain,
     but the old man knows he cannot climb it.
And he doesn’t want to.

He sits with a phone that’s a computer,
     and a camera, and a DVR, and a PDA.
And he tries to make a call.

The microwaves have cooked his brain,
     and he cannot work the thing.
And still he tries.

A young boy tries to help him, saying,
     “Here, let me show you.”
But the cancer is too far spread.

The young boy sees technology as a mountain,
     and he knows he can climb it.
And he wants to.

One can tell his brain is sharp,
     and his brainstorms awesome.
And he has ideas.

—Doug Joseph
January 17, 2011

General

Why I Switched From ASP to PHP, Instead of to ASP.NET

I cut my teeth (in web dev) on the Active Server Page (ASP) methodology (a proprietary Microsoft technology) by way of the Visual Basic language. So, why am I now choosing the “hard” path of learning a whole other language and slowly porting all my web apps over to PHP, instead of “growing” on into ASP.NET? Two reasons. First, because it is significantly easier to learn and use PHP than it is to try to learn all the new weirdness of ASP.NET. Second, I am offended (on principle) at a company that decided it can force those using its old technology to move “up” to its new technology by breaking their existing apps and then taking remote debugging info away from them, instead of wooing its users with enticements. Those who cut their teeth on ASP.NET have no clue what I am talking about, and die-hard ASP/.NET fans will surely think I am idiot. They are welcome. This is my path, and they need not walk it.

General

Needing a last minute gift? The new book is in!

Tonight at church, Pastor Doug Joseph will have copies of the first two books of the “Millennial Teleport Trilogy” — Get either book for $10. Get both for $18 (save $2).

Book One: New Immortal

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Book Two: Tesseract

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God. Family. Church. World. Doug Joseph is an ordained Christian pastor & presbyter, author of fiction & nonfiction.